Finding Help From the Right Support Group

If a personal crisis seems overwhelming, a support group may be able to help you manage it.

A support group lets you know that you're not alone, that others understand what you're going through.

Support groups exist for countless needs. Some deal with broad-based issues such as alcoholism and unemployment. Others bring together small circles of people coping with specific problems such as depression or a relative with Alzheimer's disease.

Groups that focus on changing harmful behaviors such as eating disorders usually emphasize strategies for achieving goals and sustaining positive changes. Groups that deal with issues such as cancer or a child's death offer coping skills and emotional support.

In any group, the most important benefit may be to meet people dealing with and surviving the problem. This gives you reason to believe you also can cope.

How long a person remains in a support group depends on the problem. Someone facing an immediate crisis such as grieving over a loved one's death may remain with a group for just a few weeks. A person struggling to overcome an alcohol or drug addiction may keep ties to a group throughout his or her lifetime.

Finding the right group

Most support groups welcome newcomers. Here's how to locate one that deals with your specific needs:

• Ask for referrals from your company's employee assistance program.

• Check classified listings under Meetings, Support, Mental Health.

• Check the phone book under Information and Referral or call your local United Way agency.

• Ask your doctor or hospital for recommendations.

• Check with the local or national associations.

• Check with other community resources such as public libraries and places of worship.

Before you join

Before joining a group, talk to one or more of its members to be sure the group will meet your needs. You should ask these questions:

• Who sponsors the group?

• Is there a fee?

• Do group members believe the sessions have helped them?

Make a commitment

After you find a group, resolve to give it a good try. You'll likely feel awkward at the first meeting, so attend at least two before you decide whether the group can meet your needs.

Try these other strategies for making the most of a support group:

• Make meetings a priority. Attend regularly and be on time. Be an active participant. Set positive goals and work toward them.

• Keep your expectations realistic. Look for improvement, not miracles. Give as well as receive.

• Keep the group in its place. It's possible you will make friends within the group, but don't depend on members and meetings for your social life.

• Play by the rules. Avoid making criticisms or forcing advice onto the group. Listen more than you talk.